A car mechanic:
- Has all the right tools;
- Has been trained;
- Keeps up with the latest changes and software for their computerized equipment;
- Has an organized workshop; and
- Has learned how to speak to customers in a way that conveys professionalism, and thus the customer feels like, “Wow, I’m in the right place, and this mechanic really knows what they’re doing. He/she is going to get the job done for me, and I’m going to live happily ever after.”
That’s what makes for a successful mechanic, right?
No, not exactly. In my opinion, the most important skill for a car mechanic to have is the ability to diagnose the problem. If you’re going to bring your vehicle to somebody who will fix what’s obviously broken, is that really the problem? Is that what’s causing the breakdown, or is that part malfunctioning because the bigger problem is still there and not properly diagnosed?
A divorce mediator:
- Has all the right trainings;
- Keeps up with the most current thinking regarding issues and divorce;
- Has an organized office space; and
- Instills confidence and trust in their clients that you’ll get the job done in an efficient manner.
That’s what makes for a successful divorce mediation, right?
No, not exactly. In my opinion, like the car mechanic, the most important skill that a divorce mediator has is the ability to diagnose the underlying issues important to each spouse and how we can meet those needs and create an agreement.
- What is really going on with these people?
- Are they here to get divorced?
- Are they here because they’re angry and they need marriage counseling?
- How can I help them as a divorce mediator?
Just having the trainings and getting the certifications won’t make you a divorce mediator. It just makes you somebody that has credentials, and just having credentials isn’t good enough. The truth is that some people were born with the innate ability to see beyond the obvious. I don’t think it is something you can learn. It’s part of your DNA.
Do you have this ability? The best car mechanics and divorce mediators do!