The King of Mediation, Really? by Don Sinkov{3:48 minutes to read}  After a difficult couple of weeks mediating with high conflict couples, divorce lawyers calling me and arguing with me on behalf of their clients, even though that is not how mediation works, I received a call from a well known divorce attorney.

She was laughing hysterically, uncontrollably, A LOT.  So I said, “What’s so funny?” She said from now on I’m going to address you as “King of the Mediators.” I asked, “What do you mean king?” and she said, “I just had one of your clients call. I’m filing their divorce papers and they asked me a question. When I answered, your clients said they didn’t agree with my answer, and they were going to consult with you, Don Sinkov, King of the Mediators.” She burst out laughing. It was really funny and we all had a good laugh over it. 

Sometimes clients recognize that you work really hard to try to get as much information to them as possible so they can make informed decisions. Hopefully that will be the basis for their agreement. They often recognize that you are making an effort to educate them, because the decisions made in their agreement have far reaching effects. When you assist them in putting together a good agreement, they appreciate it.

“King of the Mediators?”

A few hours later, I received a call from another divorce attorney for whom I had done a favor, mediating a case for a couple who didn’t have any money. They were in litigation but ran out of money and were having a very difficult time ending their unhappy marriage.

After we finished the case, she called me and said she really appreciated it, and by the way, if she ever got divorced, she would use me to do the divorce. Out of all the people she knows, if it ever came down to it, I would be the only person she would ever agree to do her divorce.

Now that’s a compliment!

After a tough couple of weeks, I got two compliments in the same week which is a little unusual but a nice thing to have happen.

Divorce Attorneys and Mediators Working Together??

Divorce attorneys and mediators sometimes will accept either pro bono cases or cases at a very reduced fee.  I choose the ones that have children involved, who are really being hurt by their parents’ divorce, which often is lingering for a very long time with nothing being resolved.

It works both ways. I might call an attorney or mediator and say, “Could you take this case? They don’t have a lot of money, but they could really use somebody with your skills.”  It’s a two-way street.

In my world, divorce attorneys and I work together.  We are not adversaries.  We often refer cases to each other when those clients can benefit from our particular skill set. This collaboration works well from a morally correct standpoint and also makes good business sense.

About Don Sinkov

Don Sinkov Your Divorce Mediator Westchester County, NY Putnam County, NY Phone: (914) 588-6258 eMail: