There was very little money and property to divide. It should have been a relatively simple divorce mediation, but the husband was just dragging his feet.
Every time I spoke to him, he said “Let’s go over this deal one more time.” I explained that there were only 5 items to discuss. I put them in writing and I sent it to him. A week or two later, he called back and said, “I can’t accept the deal.” Really???
- You make $200,000, plus a bonus, each year.
- Your wife makes about $40,000.
- You have a 7-year marriage.
- She’s not getting any alimony.
- You are dividing things in half.
“What is it that you can’t agree to?”
His answer, “Well, she shouldn’t get the motorcycle that I bought for her.”
I asked, “Was it a gift?” He said, “Yeah.” I said, “Well, you gave her a gift. She gets to keep that, just like you get to keep the gifts she gave you.”
“I don’t think she’s entitled to the motorcycle, so I want to take it back.” I said, “Think of the motorcycle as money. Is a few thousand dollars of equity in the motorcycle worth dragging things on?”
“Besides, your wife is frustrated and is consulting with attorneys. And once the attorneys get a hold of her, this is done. There is no more mediation because they are the best salesmen on the planet, and they will tell her that she will get so much more if she goes to litigation. She is going to believe what they say, and I won’t be able to help you then.”
“Yeah, but I just can’t accept the deal. I just can’t accept it.”
The husband FINALLY agreed to “take the deal.” But was it worth all the sleepless nights and the arguing and the time they wasted?
Although in divorce it may be very difficult to give your spouse anything, sometimes it is better to settle the matter and let him/her ride off into the sunset on their motorcycle.
Don Sinkov Your Divorce Mediator Westchester County, NY Putnam County, NY Phone: (914) 588-6258 eMail: Info@YourDivorceMediator.com