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Boy, Am I Happy I’m Getting the House!

{3:54 minutes to read} A divorcing couple has decided how they are going to divide their assets. They really don’t need a mediator to mediate the terms because they have already decided, without knowing family law. Or how a judge might decide their case. Or what factors they need to consider. They have been thinking about their settlement for a while and like what they have. The husband and wife don’t really want to hear what I have to say. Although they’ve hired me as a mediator, they don’t want me to mediate. They just want me to write out the deal they have. […]

If You Can’t Bargain for Yourself, Maybe Mediation Isn’t for You!

{3:48 minutes to read} One of the elements of a successful mediation is the client’s ability to bargain in their own self interest. Often, I have one spouse who is more concerned about what is going to happen to their soon-to-be ex-spouse than they are about themselves. When I see that, I say, “Listen, your spouse is concerned about him or herself, and you’re concerned about them also, so there are two people concerned about them but who is expressing concern for you. For this mediation to be successful, you have to speak up for yourself and play a part in constructing what you both believe is a fair settlement.” […]

Can We Share Future Earnings After the Divorce?

{2:42 minutes to read} During a recent mediation, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the husband and wife were smiling and seemed totally at ease. The husband was a hedge fund manager, and being a risk taker, he had started several hedge funds, then gone bankrupt. Currently, he is operating a very successful hedge fund with a very promising future. His wife, who is a successful doctor, had supported him not only financially through a series of ups and downs, but emotionally. Fast-forward 20 years later, and they are now getting divorced. They’ve both experienced some lean years, but now things have turned around. He is making a lot of money, and the prospects for making even more money in the next few years are excellent, so the couple wanted to make an agreement that would address the husband’s future earnings. […]

Dividing the Marital Assets in Half—Part 2

{3:42 minutes to read} There was a big response to my last blog, I’ll Divide the Marital Assets in Half as Long as My Half Is Bigger, mostly from attorneys. They said horrible things like: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. We don’t always divide the assets in half. Where did you get that idea?” I said, “Okay, so if I’m wrong, tell me why I’m wrong or what you do differently.” “We don’t always divide the assets in half. We add up all the assets and then try to figure out what the value was at the date of the marriage, and the end of the financial interest is the date of commencement.” […]

Thank God for Collaborative Lawyers!

{2:48 minutes to read} Collaborative law has been around since the 90s. It was initially marketed as something like mediation, but often clients call me and say they have been to collaborative lawyers; you know, mediators who are lawyers. That is totally wrong. The other day I had lunch with a principal in a law firm, and I said, “You practice family law, but I’m sure some of your clients would benefit from mediation. I’m thinking I could offer divorce mediation to your clients, and you and your law firm can do the legal paperwork and filings.” I further explained, “It would go like this: I’ll write a memorandum after the clients agree to terms. You write the Settlement Agreement and file the judgement in court.” […]

I’ll Divide the Marital Assets in Half as Long as My Half Is Bigger

{2:10 minutes to read} It was a beautiful day: the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and I was [...]

Categories: Divorce Mediation, Financial Settlement|

Take the Deal!

{2:54 minutes to read} After a few months of negotiation (a few months longer than it usually takes a couple [...]

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up! No. 2

It’s Monday morning, and I am meeting with my first couple of the day. The husband is a successful businessman [...]

Dividing Net Equity Using the "Magic of Math"

{2:36 minutes to read} A while ago, I wrote a blog article about “The Magic of Math,” which had to [...]

I’m Going to Mediation To "Get Over" on My Spouse!

{2:54 minutes to read} Couples with many assets can present challenges above and beyond in a divorce settlement. I met [...]