Girl with a hand signaling to stop in black and white{1:48 minutes to read} More and more, I am receiving phone calls from people who are either living with domestic violence or suspect that they are about to experience it. So what are the signs of abuse?

  • They hurt you by criticizing, embarrassing, or putting you down
  • They try to control what you do, say, or wear
  • They try to control where you go
  • They call, email, or text you frequently
  • They become jealous or accuse you of cheating
  • They try to isolate you from your friends and family
  • They threaten to commit suicide
  • They blame you for their abusive behavior

With some people, it’s already happened and the police have been called. There is a “no contact” order in place, and the spouse is forced to leave the marital residence.

In other cases, it hasn’t happened yet, but it certainly looks like it’s going to. All the signs are there, and people are calling asking, “What do I do if there is an incident of domestic violence?”

The answer is: call the police. When the police arrive, they will remove the aggressor. Usually, there will be a “no contact” order and/or a “stay away” order. Questions often asked are:

  • What does a “no contact” order mean?
  • Is there a criminal charge?
  • Is there a family court appearance?
  • Do I have to get a family court petition to get child support?
  • What are the next steps I should take?

When I receive these calls, I direct them to local services that can provide that help.

In Westchester, you can contact:

Family Justice Center (914-995-3100)

In Westchester County, victims of domestic violence cases are helped through the Family Justice Center. They will provide you with the information and help you will need.

You can also call:

Office for Women 914-995-5972;  after hours/weekends 914-995-2099

This office will answer questions and assist you in getting the help you need. They are also bi-lingual.  

I usually get the call when domestic violence has either happened or is about to happen, and people are desperate. These are services available to help you with this very scary situation. If the abuse has occurred, don’t wait for it to occur again.

If your partner is hurting or threatening you, you don’t have to take it. Take advantage of the help that is available to you.

About Don Sinkov

Don Sinkov Your Divorce Mediator Westchester County, NY Putnam County, NY Phone: (914) 588-6258 eMail: